It’s Monday, we’ve been given a photo, the possibilities are endless. Below you’ll find my entry for today’s flash fiction as well as what the other bloggers came up with. Enjoy!
Those aren’t even sensible shoes. Look at her. Do you think for a moment I’m going to allow those dirty ass feet on my carpet when we get home? No. Her ass can sit outside and hose them off first. I don’t care how much she complains the water is cold. She can use shop towels from the garage to dry them off because she is not coming into the house like that. You did tell her we were going out to the fields to watch fire works? Did you inform Miss Sexy Sun Dress to dress accordingly?
Yes. I’m annoyed. I’m very annoyed. I’m annoyed because this is my evening out too. I don’t want to babysit your friend. No, I don’t mind her. She seems nice enough and that’s exactly what makes this so difficult. Let me take a deep breath and gather myself for a moment. Okay. She’s an idiot. I know, this may be hard to accept but, who the hell wears a sun dress and sandals out to an event like this? I’m not sure who is more dumb though. You or her. Her for not using common sense or you for not informing her exactly what we were doing. Listen, I’m not sharing my bug spray and if she gets cold, she can cuddle up with the dog blanket we use for back of the car.
She is allergic to dogs?
Excuse me while I stand over the firework mortars…
Are you kidding me? I didn’t pack enough alcohol for this amount of dumbassery.
Calm down? Honestly? You are telling me to calm down? We’re all suppose to be hanging out together, as friends, having a good time. Instead, we’re all distracted by your friend who is demanding attention of the extremely needy but don’t-be-mad-because-I’m-cute type nature. I don’t find this as adorable as you might. Look right there, take a good look at the wind blowing her hair softly, the feminine way she holds her shoes while she walks lightly in the cold soil. Take a look at the sun shining over her golden tan. Take a picture, filter it, post it on instagram, watch the likes add up and fall in love. Because that’s the woman right there who will total your car and bat her eyes for forgiveness. That’s the woman who will be late to every single goddamn event that will ever exist no matter how important it is. That’s the woman that will burn your house down because she tried to cook a boxed meal in the oven and forgot to take the meal out of the box.
If that’s the dumbass you are attracted to, take it.
And no, for the last time, I am not sharing my bug spray.