Random Wednesday: Nostalgic Notes – Clothes

Have you seen the movie 10 Things I Hate About You?

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Then you have a really good idea what clothing styles were like when I grew up.

Us flat chested chicks dressed a lot like Gordon Joseph Levitt. That would be the dude all the way to the right. Add a ponytail and welcome to Jessica’s style of the late 90’s and early 2000’s.

Let’s break down this cast photo because this really is a great representation of what life was like back in my day.

  1. “Spaghetti strap” tank tops. In the line up, that’s girl in #3. These damn things were wildy popular and nipples. Nipples everywhere. You had two choices, either you show the world your gum drop buttons or try to find a bra could be finagled by using clear straps, color matching the straps to the tank top, or the dreaded strapless which resulted in a boob shelf that looked a lot like uniboob-inner tube. Eventually clothing designers came up with the built in bralette for these types of tank tops. Gives a little more support but still – nipples.
  2. The crop top, girl at #5. I’m a long torso’d individual and all fucking shirts were crop tops. I’m going to propose the theory that short shirts is what lead to the tramp stamp tattoo movement. Shirts were short and whether you liked it or not, your lower back was doomed to show. Might as well decorate it.
  3. “V” neck shirts as seen on #7. V necks are okay. I’m actually wearing one right now as I type this. However, during this time period things went a little overboard. Like really overboard. It became something of a V neck shirt, to a deep V shirt, to a plunge. I think this might have actually been the first time “plunge” was used as a fashion description. Thanks Jennifer Lopez.jennifer-lopez-vogue-8apr15-rex_b
  4. …And thanks Matt Stone (Also note Trey Parker in the spaghetti strap dress) Matt Stone & Trey Parker (Photo by SGranitz/WireImage)
  5. Can we quickly talk about 3/4 length sleeves? #5 and #7. 3/4 length sleeves are the shit. I don’t need to comment much about that.
  6. Fashion trend not pictured: Metallic. Metallic was a big accent during this time. We’re talking metallic shoes, metallic belts, metallic purses, or small metallic accents on coats. Let us not forget metallic nail polish.
  7. Fashion trend not pictured: Clear accessories. This was the generation of the Columbine School Shooting and for many schools, like my own, backpacks were banned. Quickly, styles became more accommodating for having to carry more crap on your person (women’s cargo pants as one example) and ways to get around the rules such as, clear bags.  Clear bags are still available and some schools still require them but there was a time when they were not just a necessity but were also considered cool and part of fashion.
  8. Can we talk about denim for a moment?SPEARS TIMBERLAKEThis was never popular. It was a stupid decision even then. I had to cover this for the blog though. #NeverForgetDenim2001

I can keep going because it was a fun time. If you need to know more google “Spice Girls” and it that should about cover it.

Thank you for reading and here are the other girls:

Bronwyn Green

Gwendolyn Cease

 

Random Wednesday: Asshat Parking

Promptly penned flash fiction! It’s June and I’m taking it as, you probably know what this is about now and no longer need an introduction. This week is using the prompt:

Person A: “How long have you been standing there?”

Person B: “Longer than you’d like.”

The ladies participating are:

Bronwyn Green

Kayleigh Jones

Page Prince

Kris Norris

Please enjoy, Asshat Parking

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A Ford Excursion is already a behemoth of a vehicle, why not lift the fuck out if it.  It might be a slight exaggeration to say the tires are bigger than my reasonable compact designed car engineered for optimal city driving. But “exaggeration” itself could be the most appropriate word for my experience. I would make a bet that if I asked the owner of this confederate flag emblazoned oversized processed food grocery getter why the truck was lifted to a staggering, and clearly illegal height, I would get an answer laced with profanities and racism.

“I like em tall, easier to plow over those mother fucking slow ass piece of shit cars on the freeway. You know the ones, going under the speed limit and packed to the fucking gills with wet backs. You know, If they’d learned their English, maybe they go the speed limit.”

Let me make a statement before I continue on: I’m completely okay with profanities.

But if we’re also going to discuss stereotypes, I think this red neck pot might be calling the immigrant kettle black. And just as well, I might be too. I’m making a judgement call on the person parked like an asshat in front of my favorite Chinese place.  Big truck, confederate sticker, two tires settled on one side of the parking space and another two tires in another. Sure, the wheels aren’t even remotely straight and the eyesore is parked at an angle even Euclid would find intriguing. Maybe, just maybe, once I step inside I’ll find the owner to this truck is not at all what I envisioned.

“Hey! Sweetheart. I want my regurar.

“Yes. Sweet and sour? Crab rangoon?”

The lady was large, both in height and girth. Her hair was pulled back into a tight greasy bun. The frequency of this hair style was often based on the advanced traction alopecia around her face. Her stance was confident. She kept her shoulders rolled back, leaned with her elbow on the counter as she kicked up one dirty flip flopped foot over the other.

“Yes. Crab rangoons. You know I always get them. Not sure why you are asking. You got to work on those listening skills.”

“Yes.” The girl nodded. “10 to 15 minute.”

“Minutes. We don’t say ‘minute’ we say ‘minutes’ because there is more than one. Don’t they learn you that before coming over?”

I closed my eyes and chanted to myself while imagined my heels clicking together, please don’t be a stereotype, please don’t be a stereotype, please don’t be a stereotype…

“Teach.” Her voice was soft and clear.

“Excuse me?”

Opening my eyes I see the girl behind the counter straight faced and holding herself ridged enough to seem ten feet taller than she really was. “The word is ‘teach’. You meant to ask, do they teach you before you come over. No. We do not all have such opportunities. We do learn politeness. Do you they learn you politeness here?”

“I have been a customer here for five years and you don’t get to talk to like that.”

“No. This is my business and you do not be rude to me weekly for five year. Please. Leave.” The girl holds out her hand in gesture to the door.

“Bullshit.”

“No. Leave. Goodbye.”

“You fucking chinks have shitty food anyways! I can get cat from somewhere else. I don’t need your service. I don’t need this shitty place. Get fucked.” The woman throws up her middle finger into the girls face before walking out. She attempted to slam the door behind her but the pneumatic feature prevents the door from going farther than a fraction of an inch. Rather than the dramatic crash she was going for, the door just lightly hissed as it gradually closed behind her.

“Oh!” The girls eyes widen. “How long you been standing there?”

“Longer than you’d like.” I said. “But that was amazing and let me tell you, I’m so glad I got to see it.”